Posts tagged “Decisions

Chasing Truth: Chapter 21

Posted on 17/11/2014

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“I’m guessing my time is up.”

Mari didn’t try to hide the bite in her tone. Tyler had an agenda. She would be stupid to forget that. She watched his gaze dip to the stuffed animal. His lips curved at the corners and he took a small step forward. She stopped once more.

He slipped his other hand into the pocket of his jeans and his eyes lifted to rest on her face.

“You’re still mad. I get that. I left the other night when I didn’t want to, with a lot of things still between us. I gave you the time and the space you asked for, but now it’s time for us to talk.”

“You know, I’m noticing a theme here. You make a decision and I’m just supposed to fall in line with it.”

“Are you going to be difficult about this or do I just need to wait you out?”

“Wait me out. And hold your breath while you do it,” she added over her shoulder as she started around him.

He caught her arm, pulling her to him. “Don’t do this.”

Her brow furrowed with fury as she thought about just what he’d ruined. Their relationship had been so easy, so affectionate and amazing. That was now gone.

“I’m not the one doing anything. You did this.”

He hesitated. “Hear me out, Mari. That’s all I’m asking right now.”

She pulled her arm free, but nodded as she took the few stairs up to the door. She barely pushed the door open before he was behind her, following her inside. She could feel his warmth at her back. Then he leaned in, his words tickling her ear.

“Missed you, sweetheart. Spent a whole day at Rocanda thinking about you.”

She closed her eyes against the words as if it would shield her. It was these moments that heaped on the confusion. He wanted to get close to Blake. It was his entire reason for being on the island to begin with. She was a means to an end. Yet, when he said things like that, looked at her as if she mattered…well, she had a hard time remembering that.

She turned and set both the plate and stuffed animal on the table before she made herself face him again.

“You’re using me, Tyler. Don’t think for a moment I’ve forgotten that.”

“I found you that morning at the beach because I knew who you were. You’re one of the few consistent links to Blake and it wasn’t easy to find that out. I’m not going to lie about that and I’m not going to apologize for doing my job. But Mari, you took me out to Rocanda the next day and things started to change. The more I was with you, the more personal it got. I need access to Blake. That hasn’t changed. Neither has what I told you. What’s between us is between us and that’s real. Maybe we don’t like how we got here, but that doesn’t make it any less real. Don’t sit there and tell me it’s not.”

Arguing about it was getting her nowhere and she was afraid if she wasn’t careful Tyler would talk her into believing him. She tried another angle.

“So let me make sure I’ve got this right. You want to get close enough to Blake to…investigate? Figure out whether or not he’s really into trafficking…things?”

She’d done her best to shy away from the things Tyler hinted Blake might be involved with. There were years of abandonment and now animosity between them, but that didn’t mean she wanted him to be that kind of man.

Tyler’s eyes never softened, never left her, but he allowed the subject change.

“I need to get information.”

She chewed her bottom lip and then forced out a long hard breath. “Then right now we need the same thing.  As far as everyone else is concerned we’re still together and everything’s good. When he shows, you’re the boyfriend and you can do whatever it is you need to do.”

She thought he would smile and acknowledge her concession as his victory. Maybe he would even assume everything was good between them again. He did none of those things. His eyes seemed to darken as he crowded her.

“As far as everyone else is concerned?” he echoed quietly.

“That’s what I said.”

“And as far as we’re concerned?”

His voice was softer, but she wasn’t fooled. Still, she held her ground without breaking the stare.

“We’re two people helping each other reach a goal.”

He was shaking his head before she even finished. “Not good enough, Marielle.”

“Well it’s going to have to be because that’s all we’ve got.”

He continued crowding closer until she took a few involuntary steps back. Her back came up against the edge of the counter, halting her retreat. Tyler came closer still and cupped her face. His words were slow and pointed.

“You do not come into my life and make me feel things I swore I would never feel for a woman and then dismiss me. I lied to you. I owned up to that. I’m asking you to work through it with me. For me. If I could’ve met you another way, without all this between us, I would take it in a heartbeat. I can’t do that.  This is the hand we’ve got, baby. Play it out with me. Give me a chance to show you we can turn it into a winning hand.”

Her heart beat far too fast and his serious gaze held her frozen.

“I don’t know if I can trust you,” she finally whispered.

“Let me show you that you can,” he whispered back.

She closed her eyes against the force of his gaze. “If I decide it’s not working, we go back to my plan.”

He smiled and kissed her forehead. “We won’t need your plan.”

With those words he confirmed her fears. Tyler was talking her into believing him.

 

<< Chapter 20 || Chapter 22 >> 

Chasing Truth: Chapter 19

Posted on 24/10/2014

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The rising sun cast only the slightest of lights across the rocky trail as Mari climbed. Even as ingrained as the trek was, she took her time. She knew how quickly the familiar rocks could turn treacherous. She had enough scratches and bruises to remind her. Reaching the end, she extended her arms to get a solid grip on the rocks and pulled herself up the rocky face of the overhang.

She drew her legs up and crawled to the back of the wall. Resting her back there, she settled. She closed her eyes and deeply inhaled the scent of the ocean. It was her secret place, combining her favorite things: the ocean, hiking, and nature. Up here she could clear her head enough to sort through her own thoughts.

Gage and Raoul’s words repeated themselves over and over in her head. She wanted to rage, to cry, and a small part of her wanted to pretend like Tyler had never told her anything. Whatever she chose to do now though, that reflected on her. Not Tyler. Not Raoul. Not Gage. Her.

Miranda Drake had loved Sakina. Even as a child, Mari knew that. Yet Blake Mason had been able to draw her away for years and she had died a woman still in love with him. It spoke volumes.

Still, if Tyler was to be believed there was a strong possibility he was tied up in a myriad of illegal activities. It could very well be the reason why everyone was convinced he loved her but chose to send her and her mother here. For their safety.

There was no guarantee he was the same man her mother once loved. Both Gage and Raoul had made it clear if she wanted the story, she’d have to hear it from Blake. She tugged the hair at the nape of her neck. She’d wanted the answers for years, but to come face to face with a man who had only ever been a figment of her imagination…

Feet slipping on rocks and whispered curses reached her ears. She didn’t open her eyes. No one came up here or knew how to find the place but her. And Julia and Rylee. They only intruded when they were worried.

“How’d you know I was here?” she asked when Leilani grabbed hold of the bottom of the overhang and dragged herself inside.

“I got a call from Tyler,” Julia said coming up right behind her. Mari stiffened but Julia pressed on. “He said you headed out pretty early and could use a friend.”

For him to know that he’d have to be close and watching. So much for space. She guessed she should be glad he sent them instead of coming after her himself.

“We tried to wait for you to come to us,” Leilani added softly. “We were worried about you climbing up here if your head was cluttered. Things with Tyler-”

Mari blew out a harsh breath. “Tyler is the least of my concerns right now.” That was only partly true but still.

“Talk to us,” Julia encouraged, sitting down next to her with Leilani doing the same on the other side.

She was silent for several minutes, trying to figure out how much to share. It sucked being evasive with the women who were family to her, but she needed to be careful until she had a better handle on what was going on. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Tyler’s warning to silence stuck with her.

“I told you a while back Raoul was worried about me wanting to find my father. Turns out he was worried because he knows who he is.”

Leilani’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “But I thought only your mom knew?”

“Turns out that wasn’t true.”

“So you know who he is,” Julia prompted.

“Yeah.”

“What are you thinking?”

Mari leaned her head back against the rocks again and pressed the palms of her hands to her eyes. “That’s why I’m up here. I don’t know.”

“Why isn’t he here?” Julia wanted to know and Mari smiled weakly at the anger on her behalf. This was where things got tricky.

“I haven’t gotten the full story yet, but it’s been implied it was for safety. If I want the story, I have to get it from him.”

Leilani squeaked in sympathy. “That’s…I get why you’ve been so quiet. That’s a lot to process and all of a sudden too.”

She leaned over and covered one of Mari’s hands with her own, squeezing gently. Mari turned her head and smiled in her direction.

“Do you want to meet him?” she asked.

Mari shrugged. “Yes. No. I don’t know. What’s the point after all these years?”

“You’ve always had questions. If nothing else, you could get some answers. Maybe some closure? And I’m sure he has things about your mom he could tell you.”

“He does want to meet you, right?” Julia prompted when she didn’t speak.

“That’s the way Raoul makes it sound.”

“He’s always been protective of you,” Julia said thoughtfully. “If he’s willing to put you in contact he has to believe that beyond a shadow of a doubt.”

No one said anything for several moments. Mari leaned forward and braced her elbows on her knees, her hands sliding through her hair.

“I can’t really say no. Not without looking like a childish brat. My mom loved him. Till the day she died, she loved him. Never gave another man a chance. There had to be something there worth that commitment, right? If for no other reason I feel like I should do it for her.”

“What about for you? Your mom isn’t here anymore. What do you want?”

Mari’s groan followed that question. She dropped her head and breathed in. Julia’s firm hand rested on her back.

“Later, when it’s not so fresh, it would kill me not to know,” Mari admitted to her knees. “I’d be mad at myself for not finding out the truth or at least hearing his version of it.”

“That’s a better answer. You’ve got this, Mari. Hands down, you’re one of the bravest and strongest women I know. You can handle this. And you know if you want us there all you have to do is give the word.”

“I know.” She whispered the words and they weren’t just a platitude. Even before Miranda’s death the three girls were inseparable. Her death only drew them closer. They were her sisters in every way that mattered.

Julia patted her back and then she felt Leilani’s arms wrap tightly around her.

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Don’t think too hard. Call if you need us.”

Mari laughed softly. “I’ll do my best. Thanks guys.”

“Always,” they returned simultaneously.

Moments later she heard their footsteps fade as they started back down. A smile touched her lips although she didn’t lift her head. They knew her too well. She gave herself another half hour, enjoying the sea breeze and letting her mind settle on the decision she made.

When she started back down the beach she was far calmer than she was heading up. She still bypassed the main house. She made the decision but they could wait a little longer to hear it. Instead she crossed to the estate from the side and went straight for her place.

She saw them the moment it came into view. The yard was filled with multi-colored pinwheels. She tried to fight the smile even though no one was there to see it. Apparently Tyler decided her time was up.

She bent down and drew her fingers along a few of the pinwheels. There, with her heart aching and her mind torn, she made a decision. Tyler wanted Blake Mason. She wanted answers. If Tyler found something…well, Blake had made his own bed.

 

<< Chapter 18 || Chapter 20 >>