Posts tagged “fear”

Chasing Truth: Chapter 40

Posted on 10/04/2020
Get-Out Guide: Walk through a garden at night and see local artists

The moon illuminated the quiet path Mari and Reese strolled along. Friends talked them into watching the outdoor movie starting soon. Granted, it didn’t take much convincing. Reese was always invited to something as the islanders extended their friendship. Mari never let him turn down an offer.

“You know, I’m not sure Sakina is going to let you go when it’s time. You might be more popular than me now.”

“That’s impossible.”

“I wasn’t the one who got invited tonight.”

He muttered something under his breath she knew he didn’t mean. It made her giggle. She couldn’t say what she expected when she learned he was staying with her. She enjoyed his company. He often made her laugh. The way he fit in with her friends made it even easier to have him around.

She was distracted from her thoughts when she saw the woman standing at a cart a few feet ahead. Her giggle morphed into a broad grin.

“Oh! Felicia is still open!”

Reese rolled his eyes. “Let me guess. You need one to watch the movie.”

“Well, duh. Hurry, go grab us slushies before she starts closing down.”

“C’mon.”

“You go ahead, I’ll be right here.” She stopped at the edge of a storefront. “I want to keep an eye out for the others.”

He hesitated. “Stay where I can see you.”

With thumbs up, she repeated, “Right here.”

He jogged to the stand.

“Cherry and grape mixed!” she called after him.

He shook his head, but he lifted a hand in acknowledgment.  Laughing to herself, she stepped back toward the side of the building and craned her neck in search of her friends. They would give her a hard time if they showed up late with slushies, but it would be worth it.

Her heart shot into her throat when an arm snagged around her waist as a hand covered her mouth. Someone dragged her back behind the cover of the building. She dug her fingernails into his wrist, clawing at the skin. He kept dragging her backward. She bit the hand at her mouth and violently jerked to break free. Her chest grew tight when his arm still didn’t loosen. She tried to drop her weight in a desperate attempt to slow him down.

Someone darted to her side, but she couldn’t get past the fear flooding her to make them out. She kept trying to rip free from the man’s grasp. He grunted. Suddenly she was thrust forward. She collided with someone before she lost her footing and sank to her knees. Quick footsteps thundered behind her. Scrambling unsteadily to her feet, she tried to run. The edge of the building was in sight when someone grabbed hold of her arm. She swung around, leading with her fist. It was caught in a firm grip.

“Mari. Mari! It’s Reese. I’ve got you. He’s gone.”

It took a moment for his voice to penetrate.  She collapsed into his arms, gasping for breath. Tremors racked her body. Reese’s hands stroked over her arms in brisk motion.

“I’m fine. I’m fine.”

She repeated the words to make them true while she fought for calm she didn’t feel. She was with Reese. Nothing happened to her. She was fine.

“Look at me.” The command in his tone couldn’t be ignored even in her panicked state. She pulled back just enough to lock onto his warm brown eyes. “I have you. He’s gone. You’re safe.”

“I’m safe. You have me.”

“That’s right. Just breathe.”

She nodded like a bobble head. Reese’s steady focus calmed her and gradually her breathing evened out.

“Good girl.”

She buried her face in his chest. His arms closed around her. Warmth enveloped her, bringing with it the feeling of safety. She was safe. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her. He just proved it.

“Mari? Reese? Is everything alright?” Felicia called.

“She’s good,” Reese called over his shoulder. He didn’t move from behind the shelter of the building. “It was just a robbery attempt,” he told Mari quietly.

She swallowed hard and nodded her understanding. They both knew it was more than that. He didn’t fight her when she pulled free to rub her hands over her face. He stayed close to her side as they walked back in sight.

“She’s okay,” Reese assured Felicia who was jogging toward them. “It looks like someone tried to rob her.”

Felicia sucked her teeth in annoyance. “That happens around here sometimes, during tourist season especially. Are you okay, Mari?”

Mari cleared her throat. “I’m fine. It shook me a bit. I know better. I should have been paying attention, but I was thinking about that slushy.”

“The one Reese dropped when he shot over here. Goodness, I’ve never seen anyone move so fast.” Felicia smiled up at Reese. “Thank you for taking care of our girl. Let me get you both slushies.”

She bustled back to her cart before Reese could say a word.

“Mari? What’s going on?” Leilani called as she and the others approached them from farther up the street.

“Someone tried to rob her,” Reese answered for her.

“I wasn’t paying attention. Reese scared him off. I’m fine.”

“What?” Leilani asked.

“Just now?” Julia added.

“Where did he go?” Keon demanded already angling away from them.

“Who was he? What did he look like?”

“It was probably that guy Leo said was hanging around his shop.”

“I didn’t get a good look.”

“Or that one near Laney’s!”

“Guys-” Mari tried to interject.

“Which way did he go?”

“Somebody call Garrett!”

Mari groaned at mention of the island’s sheriff. “Guys! Guys! Hey!” she yelled over them. “I’m fine. The only real problem was Reese dropping my slushy, but Felicia’s bringing me another one. So, again, I’m fine. And I was looking forward to seeing this movie. So, if everybody could just move along, that would be great.”

She beamed at Felicia and held out her hands eagerly when she approached with the drinks. “You’re a queen. Thank you.”

Julia rolled her eyes, but in spite of her concern for Mari, Leilani couldn’t muffle her giggle.

“See,” Mari said after a long sip. “Perfectly fine. Now let’s calm down and go enjoy the movie.”

Mari started walking. Slowly the group began moving down the sidewalk with her. Reese relaxed in step beside her. She let the conversation and Reese’s nearness blunt the edge of fear she could still taste. She was safe now and they had a movie to watch. She would deal with the rest later.

<< Chapter 39 Chapter 41 >>

Categories: Chasing Truth

Tagged: , , , , ,

More than Enough {Excerpt}

Posted on 09/06/2014
fadingshadows

The warm rays of the sun were unbearable against her sticky skin and she couldn’t wait to get inside. Bounding up the porch steps, she clucked her tongue in annoyance as her tennis shoes scuffed the top step. Recovering her balance, she unlocked the front door and entered. A sweet aroma tickled her nostrils as she stepped into the lobby and she smiled, recognizing her favorite treat baking in the kitchen. It meant only one thing. Her mom was home early. “Hey Mom!” she called out, dropping her backpack on the bench near the door.

She could hear her mother’s voice and followed it to the kitchen, pausing at the door to watch her mother pace the kitchen, the house phone propped on her shoulder. Brow raised as her mother waved at her distractedly, she shrugged and made a beeline for the freshly-baked macadamia-nut cookies on the island counter. Sneaking a glance at her mother who had her back turned, she quickly picked up a warm cookie to her mouth.

“It’s such a pity…” her mother lamented, glaring at her daughter now stuffing her mouth with the cookie. Rolling her eyes at her daughter’s smile, she continued her pacing. “To get pregnant out of wedlock… God forbid.” She clucked her tongue piteously.

Slowing her chewing, Keziah watched her mother pause to lean against the counter, all the while wondering who had earned her mother’s disappointment and distaste. The sweet aroma of the cookies pulled her from her mother’s concern and with a pleased grin, she reached for another cookie.

Keziah’s eyes snapped open and she stared at the shadowed tiles of the ceiling, lying immobile in her bed. Her mother’s disappointed expression from a distant memory now faced her, plagued her with every waking moment. No longer was it just some pitiful youth that had lost her way, but her own daughter. There was no way her mother could hold her head up high now. And it was all her fault.

Blinking back the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks, Keziah shifted slowly to her side and stared listlessly at the wall. Pregnant out of wedlock. The words poked at her bruised heart, cloaked her until she couldn’t breathe easy.

Keziah stiffened as something shifted in the shadows and she squeezed her eyes shut, gripping the blanket that she tossed in her fitful sleep. Her lips strained to speak, to utter something but no words came.

—

Jay jerked awake and stared at the darkness, his body quaking. He released a haggard breath and bent forward, holding his head in his hands. Shaken visibly from his dream, Jay closed his eyes and muttered a soft prayer for the tremors to cease. It’d been a while since he’d had that dream and it only came on him when he was unsettled, dissatisfied.

Shaking off the quaking, Jay kicked off the covers and stood to his feet. Rubbing his face to clear off the sleep, he ambled to the desk by his window and turned on the lamp. The light flooded the room and his eyes fell on the Bible tucked on the shelf. Tugging it from its nook, Jay flipped open the pages and leaned back against his chair to read.

Somehow, he’d thought reading the Bible through the night would help his insomnia. Something about reading through Numbers always had a way of lulling him to a deep sleep. Not this time. Instead, he begrudgingly put the Bible on the pillow beside him and stared at the ceiling. The guilt of his nightmare gnawing at his conscience till the first bird’s tweeting at his windows.

He lay in bed, still staring at the ceiling through bleary eyes, listening to his parents moving around across the hall. The pipes creaked as they got ready for the day, his father’s deep voice mixing with his mother’s. Jayson groaned as he heard footsteps approaching, knowing it had to be his mother. A soft but firm knock to which he didn’t bother to answer, grateful that he’d locked the door before she had a chance to check to see if he was awake.

When he didn’t answer, Jayson heard her sigh and her footsteps retreated back down the hall. He didn’t have to hear to know what they were saying. Another day and still no job prospects. After he’d mentioned to his parents that he was taking a few weeks off from the bank, he noticed the disappointment on his father’s face and the anxiety in his mother’s eyes. He didn’t bother telling them about Isaac’s suggestion to work pro bono at the church, knowing they’d balk. Especially his father who visibly struggled over the fact that Jayson was unemployed.

Grimacing, Jayson dragged his hand over his face and turned in bed, covering his face with the pillow. In the back of his mind, he pleaded with whatever power could make him fall asleep since counting sheep failed at a half past three. His eyes stung and he scowled, squeezing his eyes tight to keep the tears from falling. He turned violently to face the empty pillow by his side, glaring at the black leather Bible.

His jaw clenched tight, holding back the rant that filled his throat. Self-pity was not an option for his condition and he refused to succumb to crying. Even if he had to rescind to Isaac and work for free, it was better than working in the bank, though a far cry from his calling as a pastor.

A thought struck him then, niggling at the back of his mind, mocking him. Jayson stiffened in his bed. What if God hadn’t called him after all? What if getting through years of seminary school was just to assuage the guilt he’d been running from all these years? What if God wanted him to work as an accountant and he’d been too stubborn to hear Him after all?

Jayson’s eyes stayed on the leather binding of the Bible, his heart so thumping hard against his chest that he could hear it through the mattress. His hands twitched to reach for the Bible, to flip through the pages and find a scripture verse that would convince him otherwise. There had to be a reason why this wandering thought crossed his mind. It wasn’t outlandish to think he’d missed his way. After all, he’d been so foolish in his adolescent years till the last semester as a senior in college.

Seminary school had not been easy, classes were tougher for him than most as he tried to grasp the essence of God and his Word. He’d struggled through each semester, fighting through the self-doubt that he was capable of doing it. Each time though, without fail, there was always someone to encourage him through God’s Word and the self-doubt disappeared. Until now. All his school friends were either working in different cities or battling in the mission field. His heart thumped a bit, realizing he was the only one with nothing to show for those grueling years in school.

“God…” he whispered in the suffocating silence. Jayson clenched his teeth, drawing his fingers into his palms as the wave of fear swept over him, self-inadequacy seizing him.

The dull sound of his phone vibrating against the bedside table jarred him back to the present. Jayson blinked against the tears that blurred his vision and blindly reached for the phone. It vibrated incessantly against his palm as he brought it before him. His sister’s caller ID flashed on the screen. Although there was no sound, Jayson knew what song belonged to her call.

After a college Bible retreat, his older sister sang Kathy Troccoli’s “My Life is in Your Hands” until his father begged her to pipe down. It tickled Jayson that Wilma could make their father scowl and linked the song to her phone number, more to annoy her than to amuse him. This time, the song only mocked his dwindling confidence and he hesitated.

On the third ring, Jayson reluctantly accepted the call and lifted the phone to his ear, only to pull it back at the shrieking cry on the other end. The hair in the back of his neck stood and Jayson sat up immediately. “Wilma? What’s going on?” He demanded over the sound of his wailing niece in the background.

Wilma clucked her tongue. “I need your help,” she said, interrupting the baby’s screaming with shushing. “Are you awake?”

Jayson frowned at the clock by his bed. It was only six in the morning. He pulled his legs to the side of the bed. “I am now. What’s going on?”

Categories: SneakPeeks

Tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,