Posts tagged “family

Chasing Truth: Chapter 25

Posted on 12/12/2014

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“If I wanted you to walk away and never come back, you’d do that?” Mari asked Blake, ignoring the tightening of her stomach.

She couldn’t believe it. If what he was saying was true, he wanted her with him all along and yet he was willing to walk away? Both of their eyes were fixed on the water rather than each other. She could see Blake’s shoulders tense at the question and he inhaled before he forced the air back out through his lips.

“If that’s what you want, I’ll respect it.”

She clenched a handful of sand before she let the grains slip through her fingers. “But it’s not what you want?”

Blake cursed under his breath. “No, Marielle. It’s not what I want, but this is your choice. You were too young to make it then. I’ll let you make it now.”

Mari drew her knees up into her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “I don’t know you and up until a few days ago, I didn’t think I would ever even have the opportunity to get to know you. Can we give it a little bit of time before I make that kind of decision?”

“We can do that.”

Neither spoke again. Only the sound of rushing waves and seagulls overhead broke the silence. Mari rested her chin on her knees. She hesitated, turning his words over in her head. It was her choice. She couldn’t even begin to make one without learning more about the man beside her.

“She didn’t talk about you much. Of course I was little when she died, but when I asked questions she would always say that you were a good man. That you loved me.”

His eyes went unfocused and there was a tinge of sadness to his smile. “I didn’t deserve her, but the time I had with her were the best times of my life. You couldn’t be with her and not enjoy life. She made things fun. There were times I thought I would die laughing from her jokes and antics. She brought happiness into a room just by walking into it. Not having you two with me was hard.”

Tears welled up in Mari’s eyes. This was what she’d missed not having him. “You must have a million stories about her.”

He seemed to come back to himself as he shifted in the sand to cross his ankles. His smile didn’t fade. “A million, maybe more.” He looked to her. “And I’m sure you have just as many.”

She nodded. Over the years she’d fought hard to hold onto every memory of her mother she could. She had a journal filled with them.

“Was she ever Miranda Mason?”

The question earned her a genuine smile. “She was my wife when she died but only four, now five, people know that. I protected her just as I protected you.”

“I bet she was gorgeous.”

“The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. I kept pictures. I’ll make sure they get to you.”

“I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”

“Is her grave close?”

The soft-spoken question was the last she expected. She chewed the corner of her bottom lip, nodding. “It’s not too far.”

“Will you take me?”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

He got back to his feet and extended his hand. She wiped her hands on her jeans, brushing off the sand before she tentatively placed her hand in his. He pulled her to her feet. With a squeeze so quick she couldn’t be sure she didn’t imagine it, he let her hand go and gestured before him.

“Lead the way.”

They climbed up the slope of the shore back toward the road. Mari waved to Janey who was jogging after her daughter running full out for the water. She didn’t miss the curious look Janey shot Blake’s way either. It wouldn’t be long before people were speculating on his identity.

“That’s Janey,” she murmured. “She owns one of the cafés in town. Don’t stop or we won’t leave the beach.”

“She talks a lot?”

“She owns a café everybody loves because she’s friendly and she cares. So yeah, she’s chatty.”

He laughed, but listened to her advice and kept going until they left the sand to cross the road.

“Miranda loved this place, the people. She was happy to get the chance to raise you here.”

“I know. She taught me all about what makes this place so special. I left for school, but this is home. It always will be.”

“Sometimes you’re like her clone when you talk.”

She smiled,  but focused on the trail ahead of her. There were very few times in the last several years Mari had walked the path to the hill with someone else. Raoul went with her several times as a child and Julia and Leilani accompanied her a time or two but as she grew older, she made the trip alone. She couldn’t pinpoint why, but walking up the familiar path with Blake a step behind her sent nerves dancing in her stomach.

She hesitated when they topped the hill and searched for the right thing to say. Blake didn’t need words. He was already crossing the grass between them and the grave. He didn’t speak, just stared at the headstone.

“I can give you a few minutes,” she offered quietly.

“No. Stay.”

That was it. He said nothing else. Mari locked her fingers together and twisted them as she watched him. Several minutes passed and he did nothing but rest his hand on the headstone.

“She liked the view,” Mari finally said. “We used to come up here a lot. Sometimes she’d let me help pack lunch and we’d eat. Other times we just came up here and played. No matter what though, she’d always just sit here for a while and look out at the water. She always said it was like being on top of the world. I didn’t realize when she died how out of the norm it was for her to be buried here, but no one argued so I got what I wanted. What I thought she would’ve wanted.”

“You were close.”

“She was my best friend besides Jules and Leilani. We did everything together.”

“Knowing you had that helps. Knowing she had that. She was so excited when she got pregnant and when you were born you were everything to her. It’s good she never lost that.”

Mari found herself giving voice to something she hadn’t in years. “I miss her,” she whispered. “Raoul was great and Allie when she came. They weren’t her though. It’s just this hole nobody can fill I learned to act like didn’t exist.”

He took a step toward her before he caught himself. He cleared his throat. “Do you talk about her?”

She shook her head. “At first, but it seemed like it only made Raoul sad so it got to  the pointwhere I only talked about her with Jules and Leilani occasionally.”

His jaw ticked.

“It wasn’t his fault,” Mari said quickly. “He never asked me to stop. I just didn’t want to make him sad. I came out here and talked to her instead. He gave me everything they could salvage and just about everything he had of her at his place became mine. Coming out here is what kept her close for me though. Maybe because we had so many memories here.”

His expression cleared as he rested a hand on the headstone again. “I can’t go back and fix that for you but if you ever want to talk about her, I’m listening.”

She nodded and looked back over the hill.

“How long are you staying?”

“Two or three days at the most. At least this first time.”

Mari squeezed the nape of her neck. If today was any indication, two or three days spent with Blake were bound to be filled with awkward moments, but they had to start somewhere. It was more time than she’d expected anyway. She wanted to get to know him and not just because she had questions.

“Okay. I think that’s good. It’s somewhere to start.”

“I want to come out here again while I’m here.”

“Okay.”

“Want to head back so we can show Raoul I didn’t run away with you?”

That earned him a small smile. “That might be a good idea.”

When they wound back down the path and up to the house together the front door was open and Gage stood on the porch. His arms were folded across his chest as he stared Tyler down. Mari inhaled deeply.

“That’s the Tyler boy I’ve been hearing about?” Blake asked.

“Yeah, that’d be him.”

She’d expected to have the entire day with Blake first. Still Tyler had been true to his word. He’d given her the first meeting alone. Now it was time to introduce Blake to her boyfriend.

<< Chapter 24 || Chapter 26 >>

Chasing Truth: Chapter 24

Posted on 05/12/2014

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Mari didn’t know what to say. Her biological father was finally in front of her and the questions that had clamored around in her head for years suddenly went quiet. She floundered, searching for something to ease them into conversation. Her mind kept coming up blank.

“Let’s walk the beach.”

She glanced up at him, surprised by the suggestion.

“I didn’t visit, but I kept up with you. I don’t want this to be any harder than it already is and if being on the beach will make it easier, I don’t have a problem with sand in my shoes.”

That was how Mari found herself dragging her feet through the sands of the shore with her father walking alongside her. He surprised her once more when he’d followed her example and taken his shoes off before they started to walk. She lifted her face to the sky, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply. He was right. Being out on the beach made it easier. She opened her eyes.

“So I’m guessing there’s a reason you have a live shadow.”

There were a million more important questions on her mind, but they had time to get to those. This didn’t stick in her throat and make her second guess herself.

Blake’s head jerked up and he gave her a startled smile as he kicked at the sand. She smirked.

“Yeah, good friend or not, Reese has a look to him. He’s your bodyguard, isn’t he?”

“What I said was truth. Over the years Reese has become a very good friend, but yes he watches my back too. There’s more than one reason for that.” He blew out a harsh breath.

“Would I need to get a shadow myself?”

He laughed softly and amazement was clear on his face. “I wasn’t going to say much about Reese because he’s part of a complex situation. It crossed my mind you would be afraid and probably want less to do with me than you already do. Yet here you are, and the first thing you’re asking me is what steps you might need to take. You are every inch Miranda’s daughter.”

His voice went jagged. “She was so fearless. She’d jump right in and figure it out as she went. And she always figured it out. There wasn’t a single thing that could stop her when she set her mind on something.”

Mari rubbed her finger at the corner of her eye. This man had known the woman she’d loved more than life itself, the woman who’d left a huge hole in her life when she died.

“Did you love her?”

“With everything I had in me,” was his immediate answer.

“Then why did you leave her? Leave us?”

He stopped without warning. His eyes didn’t waver in their focus on her when she stopped and turned to look at him.

“There are things I can’t tell you for your safety and mine. That’s not something I’m saying to avoid hard questions. That’s the unfortunate truth. But I’ll give you every answer I can, as much information as I can.”

“Let’s start with that.”

“I didn’t leave her. Miranda and I made a decision together to do what was best for you and her. It wasn’t one we liked, but it was one we could live with given our situation and we’d planned for it to be temporary. We agreed to stage our breakup and say you weren’t mine. She came back here to stay  until our situation was under control. It kept her out of sight and gave no one any reason to believe she or you could be used against me.”

His jaw clenched.

“What was the situation?” Mari’s press for answers was quiet, but she needed to know.

“That’s an answer I can’t give you. We made a plan for what we knew. We didn’t expect the situation to change the way it did and we had to make another choice. That choice meant she and you stayed here longer. She sent me pictures of you, stories of the things you were getting into, any little piece of your life she could get to me. She did that, gave me you and her in every way she could, until the day she died.”

“And when she died? When both of my parents were gone?” she demanded, furious with the tears stinging her eyes.

She could still remember the days of numbness and then the days of utter despair that followed as she tried to grasp the notion her mother was never coming back. If it hadn’t been for her uncle, she would’ve lost it. Blake reached out for her, but dropped his hand when she shook her head. She swallowed hard and forced the tears under control.

“When she died I thought about coming back for you. I wanted to come back for you. But the reason we made our decision hadn’t changed. It wasn’t safe for you to be connected to me. Hear me. That wouldn’t have mattered if you didn’t have anyone. I would’ve come and I would’ve made it work, but I knew Raoul. I knew how close you were to him and I knew he would take care of and protect you like his own. So instead of uprooting your entire world, taking you away to live with me when you had no clue who I was and putting you in danger, I left you to his care. That wasn’t an easy choice to make for me, but I had to put your safety above my wanting to have you with me.”

She stared at him, searching for any signs of insincerity. She couldn’t find any. Her mother hadn’t lied. Raoul hadn’t lied. Whether or not she could deal with his decision to stay away, this was a man who cared. She lowered herself down into the sand and stretched her legs out, letting the water lap at her feet. He waited a beat longer before he sat down beside her.

“You won’t tell me what the situation was, a situation that has somehow managed to last my entire life, so how am I supposed to know if what you’re telling me is the truth or a convenient excuse?”

He didn’t answer immediately.

“You don’t. You only know what I’m telling you. Whatever Raoul may have told you. And if you don’t know, that man would lay down his life for you. I wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t allowed it. You’ll have to decide what you believe and who you trust. If I could change that, I would. I would’ve changed everything. I can’t do that. I can only do what I’m doing now.”

Silence fell and Mari didn’t rush to fill it. Tyler’s speculations were first and foremost in her mind. If he were involved in the things Tyler suspected then it would explain the danger and his secrecy. It would also explain why it hadn’t ended. People didn’t just walk away from running criminal enterprises.

“You’re here now,” she pointed out.

“I’m here now. And nothing has changed. It’s still dangerous. I took every step possible to hide this trip from anyone who might take notice, but that’s not a guarantee.”

“Then what makes now different?”

“You. And Raoul. He couldn’t lie to you when you asked as directly as you did, not as an adult. And I’ll admit I’m being selfish. You asking Raoul gave me the excuse I needed to see my daughter in person for the first time in over a decade. I couldn’t justify it based on my own need, but I could based on yours.”

She drew a mindless pattern in the sand.

“So now what? Explain to me how this is supposed to work. We have this little meeting, you leave in a day or two and…I just go back to pretending you don’t exist?”

He scratched at the back of his head and wet his lips. “I’ll be honest with you. I’m here with no plan. No next steps. When I found out you’d asked…I just started making the plans I needed to get here. This is the first blind move I’ve made in years, but I thought you deserved this much since you know about me. I figured we could sit down and figure it out from here together. Miranda and I made choices you were far too young to make. You’re an adult now and it’s time to let you make your own choices.”

When she’d started down this path, she hadn’t truly considered the weight of the choices she would have to make.

“You couldn’t just walk away? From whatever it is? You can’t do that now?”

He leaned forward with his elbows propped up on his knees and stared at her. “If I could’ve I would’ve done it the second you were born, but it would’ve meant the three of us spent the rest of our lives on the run and likely ended them in brutal deaths. I didn’t want that for my girls. We made a different choice. Some days I regret that choice. I know there were days she did too, but we have to live with the results.”

His entire chest lifted and fell with the force of his sigh. “What’s been started isn’t something I can walk away from. If I could, even with her gone, I would. You have to know I’d do that for you. It’s just not an option. I know that’s hard to accept without knowing everything, but I’m asking you to believe me when I say that.” He paused, rubbing at his chest. “What happens from here on out is up to you. If you want more time, for us to try to figure this out, then I’ll make that happen. If you don’t want anything beyond today…” He trailed off, turning his head to stare out at the water. “I’ll accept that and I’ll make that happen too.”

 

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