Posts tagged “father

Lighthouse, Chapter 25

Posted on 31/08/2016

A wave of panic threatened to wash over him as he sat silently in the wake of her words. His eyes swept over her face, trying to read her like he easily could before now. But there was a veil of detachment over her face; and as he reached out to touch her, she leaned away.

A knot formed between her brows. “I’m being serious, J.R.”

His gaze remained fixed on her. “I hear you.”

Her frown deepened. “So leave.”

“I won’t be doing that.” As he said the words, J.R. resolved in his heart to stay with Darah no matter what troubles arose—and there were plenty to tackle, just not now. He had to get her to trust him first.

Darah snatched her hand from his hold, tucking it under her other arm. Then she shifted her gaze to the wall, her silence dismissing him.

J.R. stared at her for a brief moment, wondering what went wrong. She’d been so excited, the love for him shining in her eyes a week ago. Now she was cold, detached, and unresponsive. He tamped a sigh. “Explain to me first, then I’ll give you my response.”

“Your response doesn’t matter,” she said curtly. “I want you to leave.”

“And I said I won’t. Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”

Darah clenched and unclenched her teeth, and he noticed her fingers tightening to a fist as though holding herself from telling him what was wrong.

“Is this about the baby?” he inquired gently, hesitantly.

She tensed and pursed her lips, staying quiet.

J.R. shifted closer and she edged away, pressing her back into the pillow. He refrained from reaching out for her hand, knowing she would only get agitated. He couldn’t afford to lose her, not now. “Darah… I’m not going anywhere. We’re in this together.”

When she didn’t say a word, J.R. had to push back the anxiety looming over him. The fear of losing Darah was worse than the fear of her initial rejection and push-back. He would try harder, get her to see he was committed to her. “Sweetheart, listen…”

She sniffled and he paused, staring at her. A lone tear slid down her face and J.R. scooted from the chair to perch on the bed beside her. She stuck an elbow, nudging his side. “Leave me alone…” she whined, losing control of her tears and her will to keep him away.

J.R.’s heart beat hard and fast as Darah pressed her forehead against his chest. She didn’t weep openly but sniffled and hiccuped through the silent tears. He nestled his face in her hair and closed his eyes, holding her tight. “It’s okay…” His fingers tightened on her shoulders. “We’re okay.”

As Darah whimpered quietly, J.R. knew he could never let her go. She was the beat of his heart, the rhythm to his rhyme—and as cheesy as he knew it sounded, J.R. now understood why the strongest of men surrendered to love.

Though she was perplexing and infuriating, she equally intrigued and thrilled him. Once his heart accepted his feelings for her, J.R. admitted her presence demanded purpose in his. She challenged his existence and relevance, making him know shame in settling for less and not questioning the questionable; constantly pushing him, daring him to dream beyond what he could imagine. In other words, she scared him and rocked his world off-kilter. He was like a fish out of water whenever she opened her mouth or spared him a glance—a force to be reckoned with, even at the age of 15.

Maybe that was why he ran away, why he hid the letter she’d written, and labeled her confession and intentions as childish and naïve whims. He’d been the fool, but not anymore. “Sweetheart…”

Darah sniffed against his chest, one hand splayed near his heart. There was no way she couldn’t feel the erratic beating against her palm.

“Sweetheart…” he began again.

“Why are you calling me that?”

J.R. pressed a kiss to her temple. “Because…” He peered down, his heartbeat jumping at her illuminous gaze on him. God, she even looked appealing with tears in her eyes. Though tempted to steal a kiss, he refrained himself. He’d waited ten years and could wait ten more minutes until she realized his intentions. Cupping her face, his thumb caressed the soft skin of her cheek. “I was a fool a little too long to see you.”

Darah lowered her gaze and sighed. “J.R., please don’t…”

“No listen.” He wished she’d look up again, but had a feeling he’d get too tongue-tied. So he continued, hoping she would grant his wish. “I meant what I said earlier. We’re in this together. I have no intentions of letting you go. Not now, not ever.”

She sniffled. “What about your dad? And Hana?”

He frowned, deciding to address the obvious first. “I’m not marrying Hana, Darah.”

“Okay, but your dad really likes her.”

J.R. barely stopped himself from snorting. “And he’ll like you better since you’re the one I’ve chosen.”

Darah shuddered, recalling L.J.’s words. “He’ll be unhappy about the baby. Besides, after what just happened, I I don’t have time to focus on anything other than keeping this baby alive.. and safe.”

“Of course, that we can do together.” J.R. knew he couldn’t hesitate or she would protest. “When I said I loved you, I meant every part of you, including this child.”

“It’s not that easy…” She trembled against him, unable to accept his promises.

He ignored her mumbling, deciding to press a little. “Why you didn’t pick up my calls?”

Darah stiffened and though her silence broke his heart, J.R. smoothed the curls around her temple. “Did you think I wouldn’t want the baby? Because that’s not true. I want this baby as much as I want you.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying…” Darah peered up at him then, eyes swimming in tears. “When your father finds out or when the child’s grown up and looking for his biological father, won’t you resent me for making you stay with me?”

Though he’d predicted her train of thought, hearing it from her mouth pierced him to his core. He tightened his hold around her. “Resent you? Never.”

She narrowed her eyes, disbelieving. “It’s easier said than done, J.R. Not every man can raise another person’s child.”

“But he won’t be another person’s child, Darah. He’d be yours… and ours. We’ll raise him or her the best way we’ll know how, with love and care. I’ll protect and care for you both all the rest of my life.”

Giving her a faint smile, J.R. brushed a thumb over the stray tear that slid down her cheek. Emboldened, he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Then he raised his head and watched her lashes flutter slowly, her eyes opening once more.

“Forgive my foolishness and my selfishness.” His thumb lowered, grazing the curve of her bottom lip. “I shouldn’t have waited this long to tell you how I feel, what I want.”

“What do you want…?”

“You.” His lips twitched a smile when her eyes widened. He tapped her bottom lip. “Heart, soul, mind and body… and the baby you’re carrying, are what I want. The rest we’ll figure out together.”

His fingers traced a line along her jaw and down the slender column of her neck, feeling the rapid pace of her pulse. Her light complexion betrayed a tinge of dusky-rose on her cheeks. He held back a smile and rested his hand lightly at the back of her neck. “I have a question though. Will you answer honestly?”

“What is it?” She could barely keep her eyes on him, the blush giving her away.

“Why is Lighthouse my caller ID on your phone?”

Darah’s eyes widened. “W-what?”

He didn’t dare blink, wanting to read every emotion plain as day on her face. He loved watching her, could imagine doing it for the rest of their lives together. “Lighthouse… what does it mean?”

She bit the bottom of her lip, hesitating to answer. Then she frowned. “Wait, how did you know that?”

J.R. arched a brow. “Answer me first and then I’ll explain.”

Darah wrinkled her nose and lowered her gaze. Her fingers found the zipper of his jacket, fiddling with it. “It’s embarrassing, cheesy actually…”

“Let me hear it first.”

She exhaled a breath and mumbled something under her breath. He leaned down. “Say it again.”

Darah whined a little before replying. “You’re like a lighthouse to me, that’s why.”

“A lighthouse?” He frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“Sometimes I feel like a ship wandering out to sea, with no sense of direction… Everyone thinks I’m flighty but you don’t see me that way, or at least you never articulate it like the guys do.” She sighed. “Like when I didn’t know what to study and my brothers gave me a hard time being indecisive about my future, you just had that silent but understanding way about you. You never judged me or made me feel like a kid—well, except when you rejected my confession.”

Darah snuck a peek at him and immediately dropped her gaze. She continued fiddling with the zipper of his jacket. “I guess I’ve just always felt safe with you in a way I don’t understand. Like I can find my way, like I’d never get lost with you.”

When he still hadn’t responded, Darah huffed a sigh. “Anyway, I was reading this book about lighthouses and you came to mind. And I didn’t want the guys teasing me for crushing on you, so I just put the name instead of your real name so—”

Suddenly, J.R. tilted her chin and kissed her; this time more passionate and intentional than the others. Darah gasped against his mouth, her fingers tightening around his shirt. The emotions wrought between them was poured into this kiss as they clung to each other, unveiling feelings long since suppressed.

Then the door swung open and the two sprang apart, Darah shoving J.R. hard before scurrying under the bed blanket. Upended from the bed, his hip slammed against the bedside table and J.R. quickly grabbed the railing to keep from toppling over.

The mad scramble was witnessed by a wide-eyed Phoebe standing in the doorway, and three glowering brothers behind her. “Is that why you had us leave?” Bart groused. “So you could make out?”

Darah kept the blanket over her head, knowing her brothers would see the heat in her cheeks.

J.R. straightened himself and glared at his friends. “Y’know you could’ve knocked first,” he said, grumpy about more than his sore hip.

The brothers scoffed incredulously. “Unbelievable,” Bart muttered.

“This guy…” Clement fought a smirk.

Phoebe giggled as she circled the bed to pluck the sheet over Darah’s face. “There’s no need to hide, you’re both adults.”

Darah peeked at Abe from behind the bed blanket. “So I don’t have to wait until I’m thirty then?”

“Wait for what?”

She frowned. “That nonsensical rule you and Bart made up on your own about my love life.”

Noncommittal, Abe and Bart shrugged. Darah rolled her eyes. “Never mind.”

Then Bart grinned in J.R.’s direction. “We did say she could marry earlier if she chose you, didn’t we?”

J.R. smirked. “That is correct.”

Darah snorted. “And you waited this long, knowing you’d gotten their permission. Really J.R., really?”

He graced her a honeyed smile. “I thought you’d already forgiven me for that, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart?” Bart and Clement echoed in disbelief. Abe chuckled, his stern façade forgotten.

“Love can change a person, fellas…” Phoebe pinned Clement with a stare. “Take note, Junior.”

Clement held up both hands. “Now wait a minute, leave me out of this.”

Abe put a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Knowing her, you’d be next in line.”

“Nuh-unh, I’m not getting married.”

Phoebe choked on a laugh and eyed Darah and J.R. gazing adoringly at each other. She shook her head incredulously and cleared her throat. “So when can we plan the wedding?”

The three brothers groaned at once and Darah blinked at her sister-in-law. “Uh…”

“As soon as I talk with my father,” J.R. answered without missing a beat.

“Ooohhh!” the brothers said in unison, Darah’s eyes wide in surprise. J.R. winked and grinned at her. He was wasting no more of their time.

Someone cleared their throat amidst their ruckus, and Phoebe waved them to pipe down. Her brow furrowed. “May we help you?”

All attention turned to the man standing in the doorway, and their faces darkened. Darah sat up in her bed, frowning. “Jeremy?”

“I knew he looked familiar,” Bart muttered, starting for the door. “I thought we told you to stay away—”

J.R. stepped into Bart’s path. “I’ll take care of it.”

The brothers nodded, though glaring at Jeremy who held up both hands and edged backwards. “Please, I need to talk to Darah.”

“You’ll talk with me first.” J.R. gestured for the man to follow and without a glance back at Darah, led the way down the hall.

Jeremy flinched as J.R. suddenly came to a stop and turned to face him. He held up his hands once more. “Look, I don’t mean any harm.”

“What do you need to see Darah for?”

“It’s a private matter,” the younger man said, eyes shifty. “One between me and her.”

“Considering I’m the man she’ll marry, that matter concerns me. So talk.”

Dumbfounded, Jeremy stared at him. Impatient to return to Darah, J.R. started to speak.

Bhaiyaa, there you are!”

J.R. turned at the sound of Hana’s voice. Noting the aggrieved look on her face, his confrontation with Jeremy was momentarily forgotten. He hurried to her. “What is it?”

“Your dad, he’s looking for you.” Her melancholic gaze stirred anxiety within J.R. “Please come now.”

<<Chapter 24 || Chapter 26>>

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Lighthouse, Chapter 22

Posted on 19/08/2016

“But…” L.J.’s eyes skimmed her face when Darah looked up. “He loves you.”

Her breath caught at the words. “He does?”

His expression turned quizzical. “You didn’t know?”

Dazed, Darah shook her head.

“You’re certainly are an odd one.” L.J. coughed and drew in a raspy breath, his brow furrowed in pain.

Alarmed, she reached out. “My God, are you okay?”

He held out a hand to ward her off. “Calm down before they hear you.”

Settling back in her seat, she warily eyed the prongs in his nose and the mask resting on his chin. “Are you sure you should be discharged?”

“Not you too,” he groaned as he lay back against the pillow. Then he sighed. “I hate hospitals.”

“Not many like ‘em.” She eyed his taut features. He wasn’t good at hiding much of anything, including pain. She motioned to the oxygen mask he wasn’t utilizing. “Maybe you should wear that.”

He didn’t even blink. “And maybe you should hush…”

Darah drew a hand over her mouth like a zipper. Relief loosened her shoulders when his lips twitched a smile. Maybe J.R.’s father could be charmed after all.

“Anyway, I’m sure you already know about J.R.’s mother.”

She sobered. “Hana told me about her.”

His brows raised, then shrugged. “Yeah, well it’s been a while since we had a woman in the house.”

“Except Hana.”

“Not counting Hana… she’s family.”

Ignoring the painful twist in her gut, Darah managed a smile. “I know she’s your pick for J.R.”

“Marrying Hana or anyone else…” he grimaced, unable to mask his discomfort. “… is his choice to make. I only make suggestions based on my experiences. It’s what parents do.”

She wrung her hands together. “Well, he values your opinion.”

“A bit too much, but that’s my fault.” L.J. muttered, fidgeting gingerly. “Ugh… I really hate this bed.”

Darah hurried to his side and ignoring the weight of his suspicious stare on her face, she fluffed his pillow before returning it behind his head.

“Thank you,” he mumbled as she took her place at the foot of his bed. “Where was I?”

“You’re welcome. And J.R.’s valuing your opinion being your fault…”

“Right,” he played with the rubber of the oxygen mask. “Well, it’s been a struggle for me to let him make choices for himself… and now I wonder if I haven’t held on too long.”

Darah nodded, knowing the gist of it all.

“I’d always assumed I’d live to see him get married and have kids.” His cursory gaze swept over her. “To live and bounce my grandchildren on my knee, and tell them stories of their heritage.”

Her shoulders tensed under his probing stare and she tightened her clasped hands.

“I guess I’d forgotten life can be unjust at time—” L.J. drew in an uneven breath that caught in his throat. His brows furrowed and alarm flitted in his features as he choked on the breath. The sound of the cough that left his mouth was violent and harsh, the sheer pain of it deepened the lines in his brow. He gasped for air, hand moving to his throat.

Frightened, Darah jumped to her feet. “I-I’ll get the nurse.” She hurried out the door before he could stop her, not that she noticed as she barreled down the hallway.

Nurse Karen turned the corner just as Darah hurried toward it. She grabbed Darah’s shoulders, chuckling. “Whoa, you okay?”

Heart racing, she gestured over her shoulder. “Please help. He can’t breathe.”

The woman’s amusement fled as her eyes drifted over Darah’s head. She brushed past Darah toward the room, and Darah didn’t follow, hurrying around the corner in search of J.R. and Hana.

She found them standing just inside the conservatory windows that overlooked the garden. Clement was nowhere in sight and from their identical stances, Hana and J.R. were in deep conversation. She bit her bottom lip, hesitating to interrupt them. Then the alarm in L.J.’s eyes propelled her forward. “E—“

“What will he say once he finds out?” Hana stifled Darah’s words.

“I don’t know,” J.R. answered in a strained voice. He was clearly exhausted.

“I know,” Hana countered. “He’ll be against it, especially since it’s not even your child.”

Darah’s stomach turned violently and she shifted from view when Hana turned her head to glare at J.R.

“What are you thinking, Bhaiyaa?”

Curiosity of J.R.’s thoughts temporarily outweighed Darah’s urgency to inform him of his father. So she stalled, waiting and dreading his response.

J.R. sighed heavily. “I don’t know.”

Darah’s brow furrowed. What didn’t he know?

“Are you really thinking of marrying her?”

J.R. was silent a little too long and Darah bit the inside of her cheek a little too hard, drawing blood. Her pulse thumped violently in her throat as she stared at his back and broad shoulders.

Hana sighed heavily. “Maybe I shouldn’t say this—”

“Then don’t.”

Darah glared at Hana. The woman was meddling more now than before she knew Darah’s little secret.

J.R. sighed, dragging a hand through his hair. “Look, it’s complicated.”

Darah frowned at the back of J.R.’s head.

Hana snorted. “Well it’s about to get more complicated, Bhaiyaa. Are you really going to let Uncle think the baby’s yours? And what if the father wants to be part of the baby’s life, can you handle the drama?”

With each second J.R. remained silent, Darah grew more troubled. Blood pooled in her mouth as she gnawed the inside of her cheek, eyes stinging with tears that threatened to spill, her stomach in gnarled knots. His hesitance condemned her for putting him in such an awful predicament; having to tell his dying father that the woman he’d chosen was having another man’s baby. She could imagine the horror and disappointment in L.J.’s eyes, and the hurt and shame in J.R.’s.

Darah took a step back, losing courage to announce herself. She was the bad guy in the story—the villain dashing L.J.’s dreams of beholding his grandchildren and seeing his bloodline through his only son. And every time J.R. would gaze at her son, he’d feel cheated and resentful. The thought of J.R. resenting her hurt more than the pesky ache in her stomach.

Taking another step back, Darah decided against revealing herself to the couple. They didn’t need to know she’d come for them, and Nurse Karen was more than capable of stabilizing J.R.’s father.

Suddenly Clement opened the door leading to the garden and stepped inside, greeting the couple with a smile. When he spotted Darah standing by the column, he started to call out to her.

Putting one finger to her mouth, she shook her head adamantly, pleading with him not to call her out.

Noticing Clement’s furrowed brow, J.R. turned in the direction of his gaze.

Darah ducked behind the column, heart pounding violently in her chest. If he knew she’d been standing there and overheard their conversation, he’d feel even more shame. She didn’t want that for him.

“What is it?” J.R. inquired gently.

“Uh, it’s nothing.”

Darah released the breath she didn’t know she’d been holding, and a solid tear slid down her cheek.

“What are you still doing out here? Thought you’d be heading back.” Clement asked.

“Darah’s still with Uncle,” Hana answered. “So we’re giving them privacy.”

Wiping the tears with the back of her hand, Darah slunk away before Clement’s could respond. She’d make her decision now. J.R. didn’t deserve to bear the shame and pain of what she’d done.

“I see…” Clement spotted Darah trudging away and frowned. He’d noticed the sadness in Darah’s face, as if she’d been gutted. Something was wrong. He returned his attention to J.R. “Well, I better go see about her before I head back. The family’s wondering if she stay with you or come with me.”

Deciding to keep his opinion about that decision unspoken, J.R. simply nodded.

Hana placed her hands to her hips. “It’s not advisable that she stay here in her condition. Expectant mothers need as much rest as possible, don’t you agree Reverend?”

At the look of alarm on Clement’s face, J.R. nodded. “It’s okay, we already discussed it.”

Clement frowned. Was the discussion the cause of Darah’s shell-shocked expression? He turned to J.R., gaze wary. “You told her?”

“Actually,” Hana spoke up before J.R. could. “I figured it out on my own and confirmed with your sister.”

His frown only deepened as she confirmed his concern for Darah. He tamped a weary sigh. “Yeah, you’re right, Doc. I better get my pregnant sister home then.” Cutting J.R. a withering glance, Clement brushed past them to go after Darah.

The three found Darah standing outside the door to L.J.’s room. Clement scowled as Darah kept her head bent, hiding her face. No doubt she was crying.

Concerned that she was outside and not with his father, J.R. stepped forward. “What’s wrong?” He glanced toward the door and then back at her. “Did something happen?”

Clement frowned as J.R. placed his hands on Darah’s shoulders. “Why don’t you go find out about your old man first? I’ll handle my sister.”

J.R. hesitated, looking at Darah’s bent head. Her silence was unsettling, more so than her taut shoulders that drew in defensively when he touched her. His heart skipped a beat, afraid of what his father might have said to her? “What happened?”

Hana stepped around him to open the door, and gasped at the sight of the doctor and nurse by L.J.’s bed. “Bhaiyaa, come quick.”

At the panic in Hana’s voice, he looked up and spotting the somber expressions awaiting him inside, he released Darah’s shoulders.

Clement came to stand by Darah as J.R. stepped inside and closed the door. Then he placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling it tremble against his palm. “What happened?”

This time, Darah let out a whimper and leaned her forehead against his chest. Clement swallowed a sigh and wrapped his arms around her.

“Can we go home now?” her voice was faint, reminding him of the nights when she had terrible nightmares as a kid. “Please?”

The soft plaintiff made him tighten his hold around her. “Alright, let’s go.”

J.R. frowned at his sleeping father’s form, wondering what went wrong. The niggling thought of a morose Darah standing outside the door crossed his mind. “I thought you said he was stable. What happened?”

The doctor nodded, expression somber. “It seems the edema is taking its time to clear up. The oxygen levels are gradually increasing, which is good, but we’ll have to monitor him a bit more closely.”

His shoulders sagged. “So his discharge date…”

“We’ll have to postpone that for now.” The doctor glanced down at his patient. “His immune system is a bit compromised, so we’ll have to watch for infection also…”

The calmer of the two, Hana nodded and placed her hand on J.R.’s shoulder. “Thank you Doctor.”

Nurse Karen stalled after the doctor left the room, then she turned to the couple with a wan smile. “He’ll be fine, he’s in good hands. I’ll be praying for you.”

J.R. nodded listlessly and lowered to the chair beside his father’s bed, staring at his mask-covered face. Just when he thought his father was getting better, bad news re-surfaced. He dragged a hand over his face and let out a weary sigh.

“Thank you for catching it on time,” Hana said, her hand still resting on J.R.’s shoulder.

“Oh, it wasn’t me. The fiancée Darah found me first,” Nurse Karen responded. “She was a bit shook up, so I immediately knew something was wrong.”

J.R. looked up, surmising why Darah trembled in his arms. He was instantly reminded by the Teka siblings’ deeply-rooted aversion to hospitals. Just like him, they’d had their fair share of traumatic events and didn’t need another to remind them of their painful past. Maybe it was best for Darah to return with Clement than staying here with him. As much as he needed her now, she was better off at home with her family. Resolved, he turned to Hana.

She nodded with a half-smile. “I’ll check on her.”

He sighed as Hana stepped out, then arched a brow when she returned with a frown on her face.

“She’s gone,” Hana answered, hand on the doorknob. “She and her brother.”

His phone then dinged and vibrated at his hip. Fishing it out, he answered Clement’s call. “Hello?”

“Don’t worry about Darah. I’ll take her home.”

J.R. swallowed the lump in his throat. “Alright.”

Without another word, Clement disconnected the call and J.R. lowered the phone to his thigh. Part of him was relieved, part of him disappointed with the news. Deciding to worry about Darah later, he shook out of it to ask Nurse Karen the next steps in his father’s recovery.

In the car, Clement lowered the phone to the cup-holder and exhaled deeply. “You alright?”

In the passenger’s seat, Darah had her face to the window and kept silent.

When she sniffed back tears, Clement reached up and patted her head. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

Unfortunately, his words offering no balm to Darah’s aching heart. The decision that awaited her would be the hardest one she would have to make, probably harder than her decision to keep the baby. More than anything, she dreaded and resented the resolution altogether.

Darah closed her eyes tightly shut, pushing one last tear down her cheek.

<<Chapter 21 || Chapter 23>>

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