Posts tagged “Mother

Chasing Truth: Chapter 25

Posted on 12/12/2014

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“If I wanted you to walk away and never come back, you’d do that?” Mari asked Blake, ignoring the tightening of her stomach.

She couldn’t believe it. If what he was saying was true, he wanted her with him all along and yet he was willing to walk away? Both of their eyes were fixed on the water rather than each other. She could see Blake’s shoulders tense at the question and he inhaled before he forced the air back out through his lips.

“If that’s what you want, I’ll respect it.”

She clenched a handful of sand before she let the grains slip through her fingers. “But it’s not what you want?”

Blake cursed under his breath. “No, Marielle. It’s not what I want, but this is your choice. You were too young to make it then. I’ll let you make it now.”

Mari drew her knees up into her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “I don’t know you and up until a few days ago, I didn’t think I would ever even have the opportunity to get to know you. Can we give it a little bit of time before I make that kind of decision?”

“We can do that.”

Neither spoke again. Only the sound of rushing waves and seagulls overhead broke the silence. Mari rested her chin on her knees. She hesitated, turning his words over in her head. It was her choice. She couldn’t even begin to make one without learning more about the man beside her.

“She didn’t talk about you much. Of course I was little when she died, but when I asked questions she would always say that you were a good man. That you loved me.”

His eyes went unfocused and there was a tinge of sadness to his smile. “I didn’t deserve her, but the time I had with her were the best times of my life. You couldn’t be with her and not enjoy life. She made things fun. There were times I thought I would die laughing from her jokes and antics. She brought happiness into a room just by walking into it. Not having you two with me was hard.”

Tears welled up in Mari’s eyes. This was what she’d missed not having him. “You must have a million stories about her.”

He seemed to come back to himself as he shifted in the sand to cross his ankles. His smile didn’t fade. “A million, maybe more.” He looked to her. “And I’m sure you have just as many.”

She nodded. Over the years she’d fought hard to hold onto every memory of her mother she could. She had a journal filled with them.

“Was she ever Miranda Mason?”

The question earned her a genuine smile. “She was my wife when she died but only four, now five, people know that. I protected her just as I protected you.”

“I bet she was gorgeous.”

“The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. I kept pictures. I’ll make sure they get to you.”

“I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”

“Is her grave close?”

The soft-spoken question was the last she expected. She chewed the corner of her bottom lip, nodding. “It’s not too far.”

“Will you take me?”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

He got back to his feet and extended his hand. She wiped her hands on her jeans, brushing off the sand before she tentatively placed her hand in his. He pulled her to her feet. With a squeeze so quick she couldn’t be sure she didn’t imagine it, he let her hand go and gestured before him.

“Lead the way.”

They climbed up the slope of the shore back toward the road. Mari waved to Janey who was jogging after her daughter running full out for the water. She didn’t miss the curious look Janey shot Blake’s way either. It wouldn’t be long before people were speculating on his identity.

“That’s Janey,” she murmured. “She owns one of the cafés in town. Don’t stop or we won’t leave the beach.”

“She talks a lot?”

“She owns a café everybody loves because she’s friendly and she cares. So yeah, she’s chatty.”

He laughed, but listened to her advice and kept going until they left the sand to cross the road.

“Miranda loved this place, the people. She was happy to get the chance to raise you here.”

“I know. She taught me all about what makes this place so special. I left for school, but this is home. It always will be.”

“Sometimes you’re like her clone when you talk.”

She smiled,  but focused on the trail ahead of her. There were very few times in the last several years Mari had walked the path to the hill with someone else. Raoul went with her several times as a child and Julia and Leilani accompanied her a time or two but as she grew older, she made the trip alone. She couldn’t pinpoint why, but walking up the familiar path with Blake a step behind her sent nerves dancing in her stomach.

She hesitated when they topped the hill and searched for the right thing to say. Blake didn’t need words. He was already crossing the grass between them and the grave. He didn’t speak, just stared at the headstone.

“I can give you a few minutes,” she offered quietly.

“No. Stay.”

That was it. He said nothing else. Mari locked her fingers together and twisted them as she watched him. Several minutes passed and he did nothing but rest his hand on the headstone.

“She liked the view,” Mari finally said. “We used to come up here a lot. Sometimes she’d let me help pack lunch and we’d eat. Other times we just came up here and played. No matter what though, she’d always just sit here for a while and look out at the water. She always said it was like being on top of the world. I didn’t realize when she died how out of the norm it was for her to be buried here, but no one argued so I got what I wanted. What I thought she would’ve wanted.”

“You were close.”

“She was my best friend besides Jules and Leilani. We did everything together.”

“Knowing you had that helps. Knowing she had that. She was so excited when she got pregnant and when you were born you were everything to her. It’s good she never lost that.”

Mari found herself giving voice to something she hadn’t in years. “I miss her,” she whispered. “Raoul was great and Allie when she came. They weren’t her though. It’s just this hole nobody can fill I learned to act like didn’t exist.”

He took a step toward her before he caught himself. He cleared his throat. “Do you talk about her?”

She shook her head. “At first, but it seemed like it only made Raoul sad so it got to  the pointwhere I only talked about her with Jules and Leilani occasionally.”

His jaw ticked.

“It wasn’t his fault,” Mari said quickly. “He never asked me to stop. I just didn’t want to make him sad. I came out here and talked to her instead. He gave me everything they could salvage and just about everything he had of her at his place became mine. Coming out here is what kept her close for me though. Maybe because we had so many memories here.”

His expression cleared as he rested a hand on the headstone again. “I can’t go back and fix that for you but if you ever want to talk about her, I’m listening.”

She nodded and looked back over the hill.

“How long are you staying?”

“Two or three days at the most. At least this first time.”

Mari squeezed the nape of her neck. If today was any indication, two or three days spent with Blake were bound to be filled with awkward moments, but they had to start somewhere. It was more time than she’d expected anyway. She wanted to get to know him and not just because she had questions.

“Okay. I think that’s good. It’s somewhere to start.”

“I want to come out here again while I’m here.”

“Okay.”

“Want to head back so we can show Raoul I didn’t run away with you?”

That earned him a small smile. “That might be a good idea.”

When they wound back down the path and up to the house together the front door was open and Gage stood on the porch. His arms were folded across his chest as he stared Tyler down. Mari inhaled deeply.

“That’s the Tyler boy I’ve been hearing about?” Blake asked.

“Yeah, that’d be him.”

She’d expected to have the entire day with Blake first. Still Tyler had been true to his word. He’d given her the first meeting alone. Now it was time to introduce Blake to her boyfriend.

<< Chapter 24 || Chapter 26 >>

Chasing Truth: Chapter 23

Posted on 28/11/2014

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She couldn’t sleep. All night Mari tossed and turned in an attempt to get comfortable and find sleep. The sheets were a tangled mess around her. The pillow had been bunched up, flattened out, and then bunched up again to no avail. She rolled onto her back and glanced at the blue digits to her left. 4:00. In less than eight hours she would come face to face with Blake Mason for the first time she could remember. As promised, she’d called Tyler after Gage’s visit and told him when Blake would arrive. Unease was her silent partner when she made the call and not for the first time she wondered if she was making the right decision keeping Tyler’s secret.

She blew out a harsh breath and reached behind the clock. Her hand came up against the square picture frame and she pulled it in, holding it above her face. She’d memorized the features long ago; natural coily brown hair, warm brown eyes, and a smile that engaged her entire face.

She always thought her mother beautiful. To grow up and hear others remark on how much she looked like Miranda was the world’s greatest compliment to a girl who missed her mother more than anything. She traced a finger over Miranda’s face in the picture. There was unadulterated joy on her face as she wrapped her arms around a young Mari and squeezed tight, the two of them laughing into the camera.

Mari shoved the covers off of her and climbed out of the bed. She was already moving toward the door as she tugged on a pair of jeans and reached for a long-sleeved shirt. In minutes she was walking out into the dark of the morning. She considered sitting out by the water or up at the overhang, but her feet didn’t hesitate to find that old familiar path winding up the hill.

She didn’t stop to breathe in the ocean or admire the view. She leaned the picture frame up against the headstone before she lowered herself on the ground beside the grave and propped her chin up on her arms. She lied there in silence for several minutes just staring at the picture. Gradually some of the starch left her shoulders thanks to the video loop of memories with her mother in her head; the two of them building sandcastles together, lying on their stomachs in front of pinwheels and blowing on them when the wind was still, and just the sweet sound of Miranda’s laughter.

She rarely ever talked about Blake. Young Mari had questions about her absent father Miranda answered vaguely. Then she was gone before Mari was old enough to know the right questions to ask. Still, there was one thing she said about him more than anything else. “He is a good man, Mari. A very good man who loved you.”

“I don’t know about the love thing and I don’t know if he’s still a good man, Mama. I am going to meet him. I already gave my word on that and it’s too late to go back. I just hope he’s still the man you fell in love with and not the man Tyler thinks he is.”

She freed a hand to tuck strands back away from her face. “I worry about that too, if I made the right decision or not agreeing to let him dig around. I feel like I’m stuck in the middle trying to make decisions with not even half of the information. I’m walking blind here.”

As usual there was no response, but something in her eased at sharing her concern.

“It’s hard trying to figure all of this out…I wish you were here.”

She kept the picture within view but rested her cheek against her arms. The sounds of the night were a quiet reassurance compared to the silence of her bedroom and the next thing she knew, she was waking up to the sun warming her face and the kiss of the sea breeze.

She blinked sleepily and lifted her head just as Gage climbed up the hill. She dropped her head back down and watched him reach the top. His eyes touched on the picture by the headstone before they came back to rest on her.

“We’ve been looking for you. Did you spend the night out here?”

“No, just a few hours. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Neither could he I’ve heard.”

She wasn’t sure what to do with that bit of knowledge so she let it lie and pulled herself into a sitting position.

“What time is it?”

He squatted down beside her. His dark eyes searched hers and she knew he would see far more than she wanted him to.

“A little after nine.”

She combed her fingers through the wild strands of hair and ducked her head. “I need to go shower and stuff.”

He cupped the back of her neck until she lifted her head to look at him.

“He already loves you.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t need to shower.”

He laughed and sat all the way down, pulling her into him as he did. She went willingly and wrapped her arm around him as she leaned in.

“I just want him to be the man Mama was crazy about.”

“Everyone changes over time. I think losing you and Miranda would have done something to him. It would have changed him, changed anybody. But when it comes down to it, who we are at our core is who we are. And I think your mother knew your father’s core better than anyone.”

“He didn’t ‘lose’ us. He left us. There’s a difference.”

Gage just hugged her close. “You’ll find out the truth from him soon enough.” With a kiss to the top of her head and a pat to her hip, he encouraged her to let it rest. “Come on, time to get moving.”

Only a few short hours later she was pacing the length of her living room. Blake would arrive any minute now. She’d asked to meet him at home alone rather than at the house with everyone else. Raoul hesitated over the request, but bowed out to her wishes. He, Gage, and Allison left her to the guesthouse by herself. Nerves tap-danced in her stomach while she fought to think of something other than Blake’s impending arrival.

A soft but firm knock against the door penetrated the silence. She froze in the middle of her circuit. The lack of anyone calling out to announce his or her presence confirmed it could only be one person. She swallowed hard and scrubbed her hands over her thighs before she stepped to the door. Another deep breath and she pulled it open.

Two men stood on her porch, but it was the man directly in front of her who stole and kept her attention. He was taller than her; not tall enough to make her neck ache but there was an inch or two difference. He wore his black hair shorn close to his head.

She was her mother’s mini-me, but as she stared at the man before her she saw him in her too. It was in the height of his deep brown cheekbones and slant and color of his hazel eyes; eyes that were hungrily taking her in.

“You look just like her,” Blake breathed and the emotion touching his eyes nearly broke her. “I always told her you would.”

No matter who Blake was or what he’d done, he’d loved Miranda Drake. It was in his voice and his eyes. She didn’t know what to say to his words. Her hand tightened on the doorknob and she fought to find some calm.

“I get that a lot.” She tore her eyes from him to wander over the man witnessing their awkward reunion.

Stubble coated the rich brown-bronze of his jaw and chin. His amber brown eyes took in everything from her to the house to Blake in mere seconds. He commanded every inch of his height, which only seemed to emphasize the three or four he had over her. He carried the weight of fine muscles like a man who knew how to use them to his advantage. Her heart tripped. He had the same edge about him she saw in Tyler. His speculations about Blake’s activities came back to mind.

“This is Reese,” Blake introduced them when he caught the direction of her gaze. “He’s a very good friend of mine.”

Mari didn’t look away from Reese. Her mind was supplying her with a myriad of different meanings for friend. “Mari, but you probably know that.”

He nodded and she pulled her attention back to Blake. “Is he going to be our audience while we stumble through this?”

His answering smile was pained. “No, he’s going to go with your family. They said you wanted us to be alone.”

I nodded.

“Anyone else in the house?” Reese asked reclaiming her attention.

She arched a brow and stepped back to open the door wider. “You want to search?”

There was the start of a smile near the corners of his lips. “Your word is good enough for now.”

She didn’t miss the “for now”, but it was hard to fight a faint smile of her own. “Then there’s no one here.”

He nodded and looked to Blake. “Call when you’re done.”

Blake barely nodded before Reese turned and jogged down the stairs to walk to the main house. She watched him go, sucking in another breath before she met Blake’s eyes and let go of the door. He took the invitation for what it was. She could’ve sworn she heard him draw in a deep breath of his own before he stepped inside, shutting the door behind him.

 

<< Chapter 22 || Chapter 24 >>